How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Michael Bay diarrhea
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
