It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
