Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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