Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We talked him into tasing himself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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