YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize