i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Still dying that you shit outside
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ladies don't puke and tell
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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