So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You ruined the universe
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
