I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
