I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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