Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
