I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
