Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
