People in love make me want to vomit
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
