I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
