My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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