Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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