I am in a vortex of obligation.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize