he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
