OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
