I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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