I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can I color on your dick again?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
