I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
