Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you inspire me to be a worse person
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize