dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
