She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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