thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
