ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
