There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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