Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize