awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
