ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
