Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I fill condoms, not promises.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize