PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
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