I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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