Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
