It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
