if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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