Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
