Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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