I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
