I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
