To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
