Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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