you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
