Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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