Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
