I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
