What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
