As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
