hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
