yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
