I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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