I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
