im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We have started to decorate penises.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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