What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
