so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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