she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
