you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
