Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I love you. Go after that dick
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
