he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
