I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
