White coat. Heels.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
