Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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