I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so let's talk penis.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
