What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
