Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
