he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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