So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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